To Searsha

To Searsha,

I hope you relish the fight.


 

I suppose before I go any further I should explain who Searsha is, and why I’m writing to her.

Searsha is our unborn daughter. She is due to arrive July 31, 2017.

I’m am writing to her, because; well, it just seemed like a good idea.

This may also explain to some of you why I haven’t posted anything lately. In the last 6 months I’ve moved, got a new job (which is similar to my old job), started my own race company (www.appughlachian.com), found out we’re having a baby girl, and went under contract for a house.

So, yeah, it’s been a bit busy. 

But anywho… Continue reading “To Searsha”

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Why I Write

You are not alone.

That is the primary inspiration behind all my work. To share in a trust that certain feelings and experiences we have as human beings allow us to form an inexplicably surreal common bond between us. A bond that should be shared and nurtured at all times. For it is our perfect imperfectness that makes us all human. It is that which allows us to be connected no matter what our backgrounds – our humanity.

It’s a trust and an understanding that I have developed not through quantitative research or scientific reasoning, but one that can only be explained by you just know or you just feel it.

Something that dives deeper into a field where no one is ever truly able to prove any of it, and where you will never be able to appropriately explain any of it to anyone else. But it’s something that despite not having one piece of evidence to it, I am sure that you will become exponentially closer to someone else just by acknowledging and discussing it – our oneness.

It is something that made me decide over a year ago to unapologetically and unconditionally surrender to you my own humanity through writing, and in it expose those feelings and evolutions from my life thus far. Hoping that by doing so it would allow for others to recognize their own humanity in mine, and thus recognize for themselves our interconnectedness within it. Hoping even further that they might then be able to see even more possible connections in their lives with people they may not know as well.

I wrote and write with a belief that none of my experiences are ever too intimate, or weird, or delicate to be understood by others. And that in accordance, no one else’s experiences are either. I wanted others to know that whatever they were going through in life was ok, because whatever I was going through I have found to be ok too, because we are all human. That it’s all ok. That it’s all worth sharing. And that by sharing our feelings and evolutions we can create, hopefully, a growing acceptance of one another and of our humanity.

An acceptance that would hopefully show our undeniable bond as a species, and through this acceptance enable all of us to erase those reasons that hold so many of us back from our truly divine purpose – the greater good.

And I suppose that’s really why I started writing. That I, just like you, share an innately human desire for a better tomorrow. That I realized despite all the problems of this world, we all do. Even people on opposite sides of a war do. And I believed that if we could just allow ourselves to simply find a way, any way, to see the similarities in each other (that hope in everyone), then we could really achieve something great together.

So I decided my way would be through writing.

I chose writing because after traveling and meeting so many new and wonderful people this last year, I realized that after telling each of them my story that what I was able to not only enable them to become closer to me and to accepting me into their lives, but also closer to themselves and to a greater acceptance of themselves by doing so. Because I was brave enough to share my humanity with them, it allowed them to be braver in the face of theirs.

So that is why I write, to put it all down and put it all out there for anyone to see, because then the possibilities for it are endless; the conversation never ends. Honestly, though, that’s why I do everything, not just write. Because if you aren’t living your life with purpose and towards a greater good, then you really aren’t taking advantage of the true gift of being human.

However, I’ll stop here though and say that I know that I’m not the first person to recognize any of this or want any of this, and obviously achieving it – the greater good-  has proved to be a bit elusive over time. So I want to say that my writing  is also not done with the thought that it’s going to be that one magic cure for it all. But I wanted to add to the conversation anyways.

And I suppose in a way, I wanted to do so solely because I knew that the answer to it all isn’t going to be something that is understood and developed in the context of the mind anyways, but that it’s something that must be felt in the depths of our souls. Because only through our souls are we really able to genuinely ‘see’ and ‘feel’ the truth; and thereby, to feel and see the truth (that connection) in others.

That may sound like I think writing is pointless then, but it’s actually the reason why I thought my writing would be different and worthy, because I hoped that through my writing you would ‘feel’ and ‘hear’ my words in a different way. That it would speak to your soul more than your mind, because I write with all of mine.

That no matter what, you would feel that you are not alone. That I am with you.

So that is why I write, because my soul begs me to connect to yours.

I hope you feel the pull back to mine.

Proverbs 24:14 – Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Expired

Expired

That was the word the doctor used when he walked into the waiting room to inform me of my father’s death – expired. All I could think was, “What, is he some kind of fucking car battery or something?”. Expired, what the fuck?! I mean I know it’s gotta be a shitty part of your job to have to inform someone that they just lost a loved one; but damn, whatever list of words you’ve compiled to use in that scenario needs to be shortened by at least one.

Fucking expired. (SMH) Continue reading “Expired”

Fear Not, My Friend: 10 Tips For Overcoming Fear

Fear Nothing

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(Yes, that’s me. Middle school wasn’t my best look ever. But hey, all things are possible with a No Fear shirt)

I just rediscovered this list that I wrote in an email to a friend a while back.

I was asking her for ideas for new articles/something to write about, and she asked if I could come up with a list of tips for overcoming fears. So in a very short order, voila, I came up with these 10 (I added one after)!

I know that all of us grapple with fear though, so I thought I’d share it with everyone upon it’s rediscovery in hopes that others could find solace and some positive affirmations within. Continue reading “Fear Not, My Friend: 10 Tips For Overcoming Fear”

You Don’t Need Permission

You Don’t Need Permission

I thought long and hard about publishing this post with nothing but that headline.

In some ways I think that may have even been the best route to go. Who knows, but you’re going to get a little more detail as to what I mean by that anyways. Continue reading “You Don’t Need Permission”

I Can’t Just Believe. I Have Questions.

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Questions, Questions, Questions

Trepidation would be the word that describes my thoughts about writing this post. No matter how honest and innocent I believe it to be in it’s child-like questioning of things, it’s what I have questions about that will no doubt make certain people feel uncomfortable and probably make them unjustly defensive about it. I’m not meaning to question anyone’s beliefs or belittle them with what I have to say. I just merely want to explain why I will never be able to answer your own questions about religion or anything else related to it with a simple Yes or No.

I have too many questions. Continue reading “I Can’t Just Believe. I Have Questions.”

Comfortable?

An edited version of this article can now be seen on the Menprovement website by following this link http://www.menprovement.com/get-uncomfortable/.

“I think people are obsessed with comfort to the point that they forget, if you don’t have any discomfort in your life how do you know when you feel good?” – Gary “Laz” Cantrell (Co-founder Barkley Marathons)

It’s time to get uncomfortable.

As the manager of a small circuit training gym I know that whenever someone walks through the door of the gym for the first time that the person standing before me is the result of a life; a life that has been led up until then; a life that is more or less comfortable to them, and that it’s going to take a whole lot more than diet and exercise to change that person into who they want to become. It’s going to take a new life (something very uncomfortable). But I never tell them that. I don’t sell ‘new lives’. Continue reading “Comfortable?”