The Little Things: What I Miss The Most About Married Life

I’m not going to start this post by going into great detail about my marriage. There’s plenty I have already, or will eventually write about that just because it’s part of who I am. I will say though that it’s not a sad, tragic, or bad story to tell. It’s just life. That being said, as true and as understated as that is, there are plenty of things that I can say I miss about married life.

Copilot

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Ok, maybe my ex wife’s role was more driving assistant than co-pilot (I planned most of our activities to a T), but damn if I don’t miss having a co-rider in the car. I’ll just say it, number one, it’s a real struggle for me to eat and drive at the same time. I spill shit on myself and my car’s interior frequently, and a lot of times my food is just too far for me to reach. But my stomach and taste buds never can seem to wait until the next pit stop. That, and I don’t like gas station food, I’m always hungry, and I usually pre-eat before any activity just in case there isn’t enough food for my ridiculous metabolism. Hence, I need to be fed like a baby while I run the roads. Hell, I’d even let the hypothetical her actually eat some of my food this time around if I could just have a little hand to mouth action while I drive.

Laziness

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Let’s hope this doesn’t start to be a list explaining why I’m not married. But, it is kinda nice to be lazy sometimes and have people do shit for you. I mean what’s wrong with having someone else tie your shoes, or send your texts, or hand you things so you don’t have to get up, or read to you, etc.? Of course, I can do all those things for myself and I do every damn day. But, it’s kinda cute and fun to pretend like you’re three years old and helpless every once in a while isn’t it?

If you have someone who loves you enough to indulge in your lazy, childish behavior, for God’s sake keep them.

I Only Have Two Hands

May 09 Spud with toy around neck-1

Two hands, one (semi-functional) brain, two eyes, and a shit ton of things to do. Having another set of any of the above regardless of reaching ability, practical knowledge, or ability to find things easily always has it’s benefits. For starters, I don’t have an ounce of creative vision as far as interior design goes. I know, shocker right? Part of that is lack of caring, but most of it is because I just can’t picture what color would compliment the bright orange chainsaw/chainsaw gear in my bedroom. I need major help.

As I found out the other day, having a helping hand can also prevent you from being scammed while you’re on the phone with a really sneaky s.o.b. If I would’ve had someone else around to look up said bullshit, I wouldn’t be erasing my hard drive and changing all my passwords. Mutha fockers.

Soundboard

Not a day goes by where I don’t have a thought that crosses my mind and I don’t impulsively grab my phone to prepare to share said thought with someone, and then I realize no one really gives a shit about what I think. At least, no one pretends to care like our spouses do. There’s a certain solace and peace of mind and comfort (I guess that’s another way of saying solace) that comes with knowing someone is always there willing to listen to whatever meaningless thought, complaint, or question you have. Someone whom you can unload all your burdens on, and with whom you will never feel like one in return.

That is a special kind of relationship, and it’s probably that subconscious sense of support and love that I miss the most.

Sleep-Cuddling

Spud neck warmer-Nov 08-1

Hi, my name is General. I’m a male, and I like to cuddle. (Negative on the spider monkeys though)

I haven’t been married for about 3 years now, and still every now and then, half asleep, I’ll roll over and wrap my arm around nothing but air. After which I become slightly awake and mutter something like; well, that was a pleasant little life fuck. Let me go back to sleep now and remember how totally alone I am. Thanks old habits. I hope you die.

2 > 1

Let’s just be honest, we weren’t meant to be alone. Not completely. If that were the case we’d all be hermaphrodites. Anyone willing to claim that status? K, well then, let’s just admit that there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that it’d be really cool to share whatever really cool things we’re experiencing in life beyond ourselves. To be able to share all that coolness with someone special. To have someone else remind you about it. To have someone else corroborate your story. To make that story even better. To have two main characters instead of one.

spud n bear-1

The End?

In conclusion, if you do have someone who fills all these needs for you, never forget to appreciate them and the little things they do for you. Because one day you’ll be driving down the road and no one will be there to grab the wheel so you can eat that leftover spaghetti without worry. In which case, I hope you packed an extra set of clothes.

ITS SPUDGHETTI

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4 thoughts on “The Little Things: What I Miss The Most About Married Life

    1. Thanks Mom! Just so you and everyone know though this didn’t come out of a place of sadness, just more from observations of how things used to be so much easier. I know someone awesome is out there just waiting to tie my shoes!

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  1. Lol always count on mom to make sure you are reminded you are loved and “it will all work out” 😉 I am a mental health therapist and am enjoying my Saturday morning reading your blogs and in anticipation of how you discovered different life hacks that unlocked the chambers inside yourself and how you started showing you care. I work w so many clients that show up in my office who genuinely want to care. As shown by their face in their palms or hopeless questioning (frustration as you identified it) but nothing ends up coming out of their mouths and their pen desperately hovers over the blank page waiting to scribble words. Cheers to your journey! And to everyone sesrching for Beauty in the rawness of reality.

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    1. Wow. Thank you for such kind words Michele! I can tell you my journey wasn’t easy or quick, but thankfully I was able to eventually get to where I am today and gain a lot of perspective from it. I’m not sure if that’s possible without heartbreak and pain, but I hope for your clients and everyone else it is. I hope everyone is able to find the best within them. It’s a beautiful thing. And I hope people like you know that even the things you do to help others that don’t seem to help now always help when that person is ready. Thanks a bunch!

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